Rumors really piss me off sometimes, especially when they involve me. Everyone everywhere was talking about how Harry and I were ‘dating.’ It’s unbelievable, really. People see a guy and a girl hugging or hanging out, and they automatically think that the two are dating. And when you are famous, it’s ten times worse. The media blows everything out of proportion, and the fans go on the rage. And oh God, the paparazzi. They try to snap a picture of you two together, pushing and shoving to get a shot, and they get extra nosey to know the inside scoop of your relationship. And when you are not even in a relationship, they don’t understand that and keep pestering you about admitting some details.
And that’s exactly what’s happening with me now.
Everyone thinks that Harry and I are in a relationship, when we’re really not. It’s in literally every magazine out there and the fans are going mental. My hate messages have doubled, and it’s resulting into death threats as well. Fans telling me to stay away from Harry, but my fans and the boys’ sweeter fans say that they have all of their support in the relationship, and that they totally ship ‘Harly.’ As sweet as that is, there is no Harly. There may never be a Harly. Sure, Harry’s a great guy, but like I said before, I’m not really looking for a relationship.
I have to focus more on my career, anyway. My music is becoming big and people are starting to recognize me, stopping me in the streets for pictures or autographs. My album was released, and I’m already on a tour with one of the biggest boy bands ever. 110% of my focus is in that, and I don’t need to waste any of that focus on a boyfriend. Now, I’m not insulting Harry or anything. God, no. Any girl would be lucky to date him and have him as a boyfriend. I mean, just because I don’t want to be in a relationshp doesn’t mean I don’t like Harry. I do like him, but just as a friend. Our friendship is going stronger, and I don’t want anything to ruin that.
But there’s always this part of me that wants something more out of that relationship... I don’t even know what.
I sigh, running a hand through my long hair. In an half an hour, the concert would begin. I’m sitting in my dressing room chair, all dressed up, my phone in my hand as I clutch it, and my right leg bobbing up and down. I was so nervous, and was taking deep breaths to calm myself down. I was alone in my dressing room, and looked at myself in the mirror. I was dressed in a cute red dip dress that ended a few inches above my knees in the front, but in the back it kept going down to my feet. Along with that I had on black heels, my hair was perfectly straightened and it even had some blonde hightlights in it. I had blush, bronze mixed with gold eye shadow, black eyeliner and mascara, and red lipstick. Overall, I loved my look.
(Outfit: http://i1248.photobucket.com/albums/hh496/biebersgirl222/5798274E-CF68-444A-8A35-E53F372E7933-2783-0000019D9F328B9D.jpg )
A few knocks suddenly came on my door, and a second later in came trailing the One Direction boys. They were all dressed for the concet as well, looking really good in their outfits. “Hey,” Liam smiles as they walk in. “You ready?”
I nod, still sitting. “A bit nervous though.”
Harry smiles, walking over and draping an arm around my shoulders. “Don’t be,” he says. “You’ll be fine!”
“Then why do I feel like my heart is about to fall out of my chest?” I sarcastically ask, my fingers digging into the side of my thighs through the fabric of my dress.
The boys chuckle. “It’s your first time,” Zayn says. “It’s normal to feel that way.”
We all talk for a bit more, the boys calming down, until Niall said that he wanted some snacks. Louis, Liam, and Zayn joined him and the four of them left, leaving just Harry and I in my dressing room. I was still on my chair and he sat on the couch next to me, and I turned my body a bit to look at him. He was dressed in khaki pants, a white T-shirt, and his signature navy blue blazer. He looked really good, especially since his hair was disheveled, just the way I adored.
I was biting the bottom of my lip, chewing on the flesh. Harry must have noticed me being nervous, he chuckles. “Stop being so nervous, babe,” he says. “You’re an amazing singer, and the fans already love you. You’ll do great.”
I smile at his comment. “Thanks,” I say gratefully.
Harry grins, revealing his dimples. “No problem,” he replies. “Besides, the lads and I are gonna be there, cheering you on. Not to mention, your parents are gonna be there too. We’re all here to support you.”
My smile widens a bit. I look down at my lap, blushing slightly as my hair falls to cover my cheeks, and then look back up at him into his sparkling green eyes. “You’re way too sweet, Styles,” I say.
His smile turns into a smirk. “I try,” he says.
We talk for a few minutes, and when it’s five minutes to show time, I take out my phone.
@CarlyMcKinley: Time for the show to startt!! @Harry_Styles is tryna get my nerves out of wack (: xx http://i1248.photobucket.com/albums/hh496/biebersgirl222/29f402ef440e1d99588fa8f14c5f2494.jpg
The picture was of Harry and I, making kissy faces at the camera with our eyes widened. I chuckled at the picture, and Harry must have seen it too because he laughed as well. Just then, Kristen walked into the room, a grin on her face and her right hand behind her back. “You ready, Carls?” she asks.
Harry sends me over a smile and I nod over at Kristen. Taking a deep breath, I say, “Yeah, I’m ready.” Kristen smiles and brings her hand from her back, revealing a microphone. A beautiful one, at that. It was covered in silver stones, and around the top of the microphone was rounded by a line of silver stones as well. I smiled, looking at the item, and Kristen holds it out for me. “It’s your time, kiddo,” she grins.
(Her mic: http://i1248.photobucket.com/albums/hh496/biebersgirl222/microphone.jpg )
I take it from her, and Randy walks in. “It’s time, Carly,” he smiles.
I nod, smiling. Kristen and Harry smile at me and we walk out of the dressing room and meet the boys waiting for us. They all nod at me, smiling, and I walk towards the stage. You can see it being pitch back in the arena, and the screaming of the fans. With the ear piece fixed in my ear, I gripped the microphone tightly and walked quietly out on the stage, leaving the boys, Kristen, Randy, and Paul on the side of the stage. No one could see me as I walk on, and stop in the middle of the stage. Suddenly, a bright white spot light gets casts upon me, almost blinding me, and when the crowd sees me, the screaming grows ten times louder. I smile as the microphone comes up to my lips, and my band immediately starts playing the music for the first song, Naturally.
“How you choose to express yourself. It’s all your own and I can tell. It comes naturally, it comes naturally,” I sang clearly into the microphone, and I was caught off gaurd when I heard the fans singing along as well. “You follow what you feel inside, it’s intuative you don’t have to try. It comes naturally, mmm, it comes naturally.”
The fans screaming grows much louder, if possible, when I start walking around the stage, smiling and waving over at the fans. The ones in the front row were jumping and pumping their fists, grins on their faces. “And it takes my breath away,” I continue singing. Next comes the chorus as I return to the center of the stage, and as I walk, I glance back stage where I see the boys grinning and somewhat awkwardly dancing along. It was cute, either way. “You are the thunder and I am the lightening. And I love the way you know who you are. And to me it’s exciting when you know it’s meant to be. Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally, when you’re with me, baby. Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally. Ba-ba-baby.”
I continue singing, dancing around the stage as I walk forward towards the edge of the stage, high fiving some of the fans. I continued singing through the songs, smiling widely at the thrill. The thought of thousands of girls screaming kind of frightened me at first, but now I realize that the boys were right. The screaming is thrilling, and makes the experience a thousand times more fun and enjoyable. Performing is so much better than I thought it would be, and the thought of me being so nervous just seems so ridiculous now.
“Now look at me, the memories turn to dust. There is only one explanation, I wasn’t really in love. (I wasn’t really in love). It was just a crush. (It was just a crush). Sparks fly when we touch, it was never enough. It was just a crush. (It was just a crush). Yeah.” As I sing the chorus of the final song, Crush, everyone is jumping and clapping along to the beat, singing along. I guess they bought my album...
By the time that I was finished, my heart was beating a mile a minute and I grinned widely with my teeth at the screaming audience. Breathing heavily, I brought the microphone back to my lips, causing my heavy breathing to echo through the arena. But you couldn’t really hear it, since the screaming was so loud. “Thank you all so much for coming tonight!” I exclaim into the mic, causing a screaming reaction. “I had so much fun! Thanks for making my first concert so welcoming,” I laugh. Cue the screams. “Good night and enjoy One Direction!” I end with a laugh.
With one last wave, I walk towards the side of the stage. The screaming and clapping continues, and before I dissappear, I turn around and blow one last kiss, before walking away. You could still hear the screaming, and when I see the boys, they all scream loudly and attack me in a hug, almost knocking me to my feet, and these heels don’t help that much either. “YOU DID IT!” Louis shouts loudly, squeezing me tightly.
“Let her breathe, Lou.” Harry comes to my rescue. Louis lets go of me, huffing, and Harry pulls me in for an embrace. A very warm one, may I add. “That was amazing, Carly,” his raspy voice whispers in my ear, causing shivers to go down my spine.
We pull away from our hug, just in time to see the other boys exchange knowing looks. Before I was able to ask them what that was about, I see my parents run up to me. My eyes widen with joy as my mum, a wide grin on her face, attacks me in a hug. “Honey, that was amazing!” she exclaims, hugging me tightly. “I’m so proud of you!” she sniffs, pulling away.
Dad chuckles. “Your mother was right about crying,” he says, but then hugs me. “That really was great. Wonderful job, kiddo.”
I smile. “Thank you,” I say. I was so glad my parents were here at my first concert, and it meant so much to me. To have my parents share my experience, one that I was going through for the first time ever.
“Carly!” two more voices shout, and I turn to see Ashley and Kristen run up to me. “Babe, you were amazing!” Ashley exclaims, hugging me.
I laugh, hugging her back, and Kristen says, “I’m so proud of you, Carls.”
I smile at her, and then Zayn chuckles. “Question is,” he smirks, “are you ready to do this again tomorrow night?”
Boy am I ever.