It’s been a month since I last saw Harry, and it’s driving me insane. We talk, text, and Skype almost everyday but it just doesn’t seem enough. I want to be able to hug him and kiss him, feel his warm touch. I always see his face or hear his beautiful voice whenever I’m out and about, and it just pains me because I know that he’s on the other side of the world and there’s no way for me to just get up and go see him. I have work and he has work, so it gets a bit crazy. It’s a bit too much to handle for the both of us, but we are willing to do anything to make this long distance thing work.
But why is it that when I fall in love with a guy, he has to be famous? Why is it that when I fall in love with a boy, he has millions of girls throwing themselves at his feet, practically stripping down in front of him? I don’t blame the fans for wanting to do that, since it has died down a bit ever since they found out that Harry and I were back together. But that still doesn’t stop me from missing Harry.
I miss his touch, kisses, hugs, eyes, hair, voice, everything. I can’t even describe the feeling I get when I realize that Harry’s more than two thousand miles away from me. My heart starts clenching and I feel my stomach twist and churn. Long distance relationships are the most painful thing ever, because you know that there’s someone out there who loves you, but you just can’t see or be with them because there is a whole ocean that is seperating the two of you. For the past month whenever I had an interview, people always ask me about Harry and how we’re doing with the whole distance. Every time I say we’re doing fine, because we are. But I never say how I just want to see him and kiss him again. It’s painful having a boyfriend and not being able to be with him.
My laptop suddenly dinged, and I looked at it to see that Harry was requesting for a video chat on Skype. I grinned as I saw it, and accepted his call. Immediately, Harry’s face filled my screen. I recognized that he was sitting on his bed, wearing a T-shirt and what looked like jeans.
“Hey, babe,” he smiles, dimples in view.
“Hey,” I smile. “How are you?”
“Awful,” he answers, and my face drops in confusion. “I’m missing you so damn much.”
A slight smile settles on my lips. “I miss you too, Haz,” I say.
“We asked our management and they said they’re gonna find some time to fly us back to LA,” Harry tells me, running a hand through his curly hair. “They’re just trying to figure out when we’re free so it doesn’t mess up our schedule.”
I grin, nodding. “Sounds great,” I say. “Can’t wait to see you.”
“Me neither, babe,” he says. “So what have you been up to?”
I shrugged. “Writing some songs for my third album.”
“Sounds exciting,” he chuckles.
“You know it,” I laugh, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
Harry lets out a sigh, looking at me – or well, at the laptop screen. “You’re so beautiful,” he says breathily.
A blush forms on my cheeks, biting my bottom lip. “You need to stop doing that,” I mumble, looking down at my lap.
“What?” he slightly smiles. “Telling the truth?” I roll my brown eyes at that. Harry suddenly sits up. “Hey, can we do something that’s on our bucket list?”
I give him a funny look. “How’s that gonna work? Everything on the list is something we do together.”
“Not all of them,” Harry says mysteriously. “One of them is to write letters to each other. We’re in two different countries. What better time than to write them now?”
A smile tugs on my lips. “Sound like a plan.”
“Good,” Harry smirks as he leans back on the head board of the bed, crossing his arms behind his head. “Because I just sent my letter to you yesterday.”
My eyes widen and jaw drops. “Harry!” I exclaim with a laugh. “You could’ve at least told me that before.”
He shrugs, a smile on his lips. “You’ll get it in about two to three days.”
I smile, shaking my head at him. “I never know what you’re up to.” Harry sends me a playful wink. The two of us talk for another hour or so until I realize what time it is in London. “It’s getting late,” I say with a sigh. “You should go to bed.”
“But I wanna talk to you,” he whines, leaning forward.
“Harry,” I say sternly. “Go to bed.”
Harry’s lips form into a pout. “Fine,” he says. “I’ll talk to you later, Carls.”
I nod. “I love you, boo.”
“Love you too, baby girl,” Harry smiles, before disconnecting the call.
Turing off my laptop, I sit back on the bed and let out a sigh. Now to write Harry’s letter....
My bubble gum popped loudly as I sat on the couch, my laptop on the coffee table in front of me. I was setting up a live chat to take questions from the fans. I also had my phone in my hand to check Twitter for questions. I was thinking that I owe it to my fans to give them a live chat or something, so yeah. Once I was live, I grin and wave at the camera.
“Hey, guys!” I say. “How are you all?” I ask as I cross my legs as I sit on the couch. I was immediately replied with my fans responding on the chat and on Twitter. “Now let’s get started!” Looking at my phone, I scroll down my Twitter timeline to look for a question. “Okay, this one’s from @CarlysAngel,” I say, smiling at her name. “What’s your favorite thing to do on your day off?” I look at the camera and smile as I answer the question. “Probably just watch movies or hang out with my friends.”
I answer a few more questions until the front door opens and in walks Ashley. “Hey, Ashley’s here to help me with the questions!” I grin.
Ashley rolls her eyes but sits down next to me. “Hey, everyone,” she waves at the camera, and is responded by thousands of fans. We answered a bunch of more questions that the fans were sending in. “Question from Beth from Norway,” Ashley read off the chat. “Do you miss Harry?”
I smile, putting my phne down as I look at the camera, a blush on my cheeks. “I miss him a lot.”
“From @Jess_Horan14; what’s the last text message you sent and who was it to?” Ashley read off her Twitter time line.
“Let’s see,” I say as I go on my messages and see who the last message was to. “My last text was to Mr. Louis Tomlinson. He was ranting about when he opens a door for someone random and they just walk by without saying thank you. It apparently insults him and I then told him to shut up,” I explain.
Ashley laughs and rolls her eyes. The questions kept coming in, one after the other. Ashley then smirked and read off a question from a phone. “This one’s from @Harry_Styles. Do you love me?”
My eyes widened slightly as a bluh formed on my cheeks. Chewing my gum, I say as I smile, “Yes; very much.”
I see the fans go crazy on Twitter and on the chat. I bet you there are probably gonna be GIFS of that later on. The chat ended an hour after it had begun, and Ashley grins, “Well that was fun.”
I nod, agreeing. Ashley then got up and left to her room. I sat on the couch, with Coco soon coming on my lap. I scratch the top of his head and ask, “You wanna see daddy, boy?” Coco barks and I smile. “Let’s see if he’s online.”
Going on Skype, I saw the green bubble next to his name. Grinning, I click on the video chat button and he rings, and Harry soon answered, his face occupying my laptop screen. “Hey, love.”
I smile. “Hi,” I say. “Coco wanted to see his daddy,” I add, lifting up Coco’s little body at the camera.
Harry smiles, dimples in show. “Hey, boy,” he says, looking at the screen.
“That’s your daddy, Coco,” I smile, still holding on to him.
“Woof, woof!” Coco barked, his tongue panting out.
A few minutes later, Coco trotted away so it was just Harry and I. I looked at him, a smile on my face. “I began writing your letter yesterday,” I inform him. “I’ll probably be done by tonight or tomorrow.”
Harry grins. “I can’t wait to read it.”
I chuckle. “I wanna read yours. Kind of scared to know what you wrote.”
Harry opens his mouth to say something, when I suddenly let out a sneeze. “Whoa, babe, are you sick?”
I shake my head. “Probably just the sniffles. No big deal,” I assure him. But then I let out another sneeze, and Harry gave me a look of disbelief.
“I think it’s more than the sniffles, Carls,” he says matter-of-factly. “Go to the doctor.”
“Harry, I’m fine. I swear,” I say, sniffling.
Harry runs a hand through his curls, a somewhat frustrated look on his face. He lets out a sigh and then looks at the webcame, as if he was staring right at me. “I won’t be able to relax if you don’t go and get checked out. Please, Carly.”
A smile tugged on my lips as I see how worried he is. It warms my heart to know he’s so concerned about my health. “Fine, Haz. For you, I’ll go.”
“Well, Carly, looks like you’ve got the flu,” my doctor, Dr. Stevens, informs me.
I groan, sniffling. “That’s fantastic,” I mutter sarcastically.
“I gave your prescribtion to Kristen. I suggest you get some rest, okay?” he says, looking at me warily.
I nod, standing up. “Alright. Thanks, doc.”
Saying goodbye to him, I exit the hospital and get into my car, driving back home. Once I get there, I sit on my couch as I take out my phone, sighing.
@CarlyMcKinley: Sick with the flu :/ Oh deaarrr.
My phone buzzed, telling me I got a mention.
@Harry_Styles: @CarlyMcKinley I told you! And you thought it was just the sniffles... -.-
@CarlyMcKinley: @Harry_Styles Geez, sorry bub. I’ll listen to you more often. Xx
Putting my phone down, I stand up and go into the kitchen. As I do, I see some mail lying on the kitchen counter. Walking over, my eyes widen when I see a letter with my name on it. It was Harry’s letter.
Immediately grabbing, I ran back into the living room like a crazy person. Finding a comfortable spot on the couch, I rip open the envelope. My eyes widen when I see Harry’s letter is two pages long. A smile comes onto my face as I see that it’s in his hand writing, and I begin reading the letter.
I still remember the day I met you. It was at a photo shoot set, and I had accidently bumped into you because I had no clue to where I was going. Right away, when I saw you, I knew you were different. Your long flowing hair, your dark brown eyes, and your perfect smile; everything about you was beautiful. Never in my life did I plan to see myself falling in love with someone. To me, the thought of love was always fake and unreal, until I met you. You’re the first girl I’ve ever truly been in love with and honestly, it’s the best feeling in the entire world.
You changed me, Carly. You changed me from who I was, into someone so much better. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I would always go out and get drunk, not having a care in the world about what I did and who I was with. But when you came along, all of that changed. I made sure I didn’t get too drunk that I wouldn’t remember anything the day after, and that I didn’t spend my night with a different girl. To me, there was always one girl in my mind, which was only you.
I love everything about you, Carly. I love the way you bite the inside of your cheek when you’re nervous. I love the way when you smile, it lights up your entire face. I love the way you put family and friends before anything else, including yourself. I love the way you can wake up in the morning and still look absolutely stunning. I love the way you dot your I’s with tiny stars. I love the sound of your voice. I love the way you smile. I love the way you hug me. I love the weird faces you make just to make me laugh when I’m trying to be serious. I love the way you always have to cuddle when we’re watching a scary movie. I love how gentle and caring you are.
You’re honestly like no girl I have ever met before. You’re a genuine person. You aren’t like many other celebrities, either. Most of them think they’re like royalty and should be treated like they’re the best thing to walk on the planet. But not you. You’re friends with everyone and anyone, and are the nicest and sweetest girl I’ve ever seen. You treat your fans like they’re your best friends, and you make sure you always have time for family. You act like yourself, not caring what other people think.
I can’t begin to explain to you how much I love you. When I had cheated on you, I didn’t know what I was thinking. But I can tell you this – it was the biggest and stupidest mistake I had ever made. You’re everything to me, Carly, and I hope you know that. Every time I see you, my heart skips a beat or two. I feel butterflies in my stomach as if they were trying to escape, and I get this nervous feeling. But I love mostly how I can just be myself around you. With you, I’m not Harry Styles from One Direction. I’m just Harry, that guy from Holmes Chapel who used to work in a bakery. I’m so comfortable around you, the way I’d be comfortable around the boys.
It scares me how much I love you, Carly. I’ve never felt this way about any other girl before. Everything about you just drives me insane. Your voice, your eyes, your lips, your smile, your hair, your hands, your hugs, your touch, your kisses. Being so far away from you is driving me crazy, but I’m going to bare it. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I can’t risk losing you. I love you so much, it’s unreal. Even the lads say that I’m whipped. Okay, that’s mostly Louis, but you get the idea.
I don’t want to lose you. Not again, not ever. You’re my other half, literally. I don’t think I’ll be able to cope without you. I think I would’ve died if I had to go any longer without you when we were broken up for those dreaded, horrid ten months. But now you’re back with me, and that’s all that matters. I love you, Carly Elizabeth McKinley. And don’t you forget that.
Your Hazza, your boo, your lover,
I think it’s safe to say by the end of the letter, I was sobbing tears of happiness.