Chapter 17 - Confronting Feelings
"How was your trip?" I asked Kelsey as we drove back to the flat.
I had just picked up Kelsey from Heathrow Airport, having her finally return from Miami. I had been just standing there in a beanie and sunglasses, and only a couple of fans had recognized me. But by the time Kelsey and I were leaving the airport, dozens and dozens of fans were swarming us.
Kelsey was dressed in a pair of jeans, Converse, and a tank top with a cardigan over it. By the looks of it, she had been sleeping on the flight because she looked woozy when I finally got to her.
"It was.... Nice," she hesitantly replied, and my eyebrows shot up.
Glancing at her, I caught her nibbling on her bottom lip as she looked straight ahead, her eyebrows furrowing slightly as if she was stressed or thinking about something important. I then noticed her playing with the ring on her left ring finger, twirling it around almost absentmindedly.
Something was bothering her, and I knew it. But I didn't say anything; instead, I kept my eyes on the road as I kept driving and within a few minutes, we returned to the flat. We got out of the car, the little pebbles on the ground crunching underneath my brown boots as I walked to the boot of the car and opened it up, lifting Kelsey's suit case out of it.
She followed me inside the building, and we quietly made our way up to the flat. When we were finally inside, Kelsey said, "I'm gonna take a shower."
I nod as I follow her up the stairs, entering our room and putting the suitcase inside. I watch as Kelsey opens up one of her drawers and takes out some clothes, before walking right into the bathroom and locking the door shut.
I was about to leave the room when I heard a beep from somewhere. My eyes landed on Kelsey's bag that rested on the foot of the bed, and another beep sounded from there. Walking over, I picked up the bag and unzipped it, catching Kelsey's phone light up.
The sound of the shower running was heard, letting me know Kelsey was in there. Biting my bottom lip, I picked it up and saw - to my displeasure - Logan had sent two texts to Kelsey. My initial thought was to put her phone back where I found it, but my curiosity got the best of me and I checked her text messages - ignoring the voice in my head telling me that it was a bad idea.
Kelsey, please call me back. I need to explain myself, please.
Look, I know it was wrong of me to kiss you unexpectedly. But Kelsey, let me just explain, okay? Just call me and I'll give you an explanation. I don't want my best friend being mad at me.
My jaw clenched as my grip on the phone tightened. Logan kissed her? He actually had the balls to go ahead and kiss her? Does he not know that she's married? Anger bubbled up inside of me like a volcano ready to erupt, but I released a breath in hopes of calming myself down.
Clenching my free hand into a fist, I put the phone back in the bag and dropped it where I found it, before exiting the room and going down the stairs. My thoughts were all over the place, and I just ran a hand through my hair in frustration.
I knew there was something about Logan I didn't like. I knew he didn't consider Kelsey as just his best friend. It always happens between a guy and a girl if they're best friends; one always ends up falling for the other. And I guess in this case, it was Logan who fell for Kelsey.
Just the thought of the fact that Logan and Kelsey had kissed sent me into a frenzy. I hated that they did. I hated that someone had kissed Kelsey and that it wasn't me. The most frustrating part of all this was that I don't even know why I'm so angry about this.
Maybe because you may fancy her?
I groaned; don't you just hate that small voice in the back of your head that tells you things you may or may not want to hear? Right now, I'm not in the mood for it the least bit because I'm still internally trying to figure things out about Kelsey. Mainly on I feel about her because right now, I'm as confused as hell. It's not every day a nineteen year old guy has to marry a girl he's never met, and then later on has to figure out his feelings for her.
Hearing footsteps enter the living room, I looked up and saw Kelsey. Her shoulder-length hair was still a bit wet from her shower, and dressed in black tights that went just below knees and what looked like a University of Florida sweatshirt. She gives me a smile as she enters the room, but that soon vanishes when she hears the words that escape my mouth.
"Did you and Logan kiss?" I blurted out, and then mentally cursed myself. Sheesh, Styles, could you be any more subtle?
Kelsey froze midstep as she stared at me, her blue eyes widening as her lips part. "H-How did you - where did you -"
I cut her off. "Logan texted you and I read it." Shut up, Harry, shut up!
She furrowed her eyebrows, staring down at me since she was standing and I was sitting on the couch. "That's an invasion of privacy!" Kelsey exclaims, staring at me incredulously. "You can't go snooping through my things, Harry. That's not how it works."
"Really?" I clench my jaw, pushing myself up from the couch. "Were you even going to tell me that you and Logan kissed? Or were you just going to keep me in the dark about it?"
"It's none of your business!" Kelsey almost screams, and I'm a bit taken aback, since that's the loudest I've ever heard her talk. "I don't know if would have told you or not, okay? And for your information, I pushed him back. If you read the texts, you'd realize that I'm angry at Logan and I haven't even talked to him ever since he took me by surprise. I don't like him like that."
"Are you sure?" I raised an eyebrow, "Because it looks like he does like you like that."
"I don't care!" Kelsey exclaims, throwing her hands in the air. "Jesus, why do you even care?"
Both my eyebrows shoot up as I stare at her in astonishment. During our little screaming match, Kelsey and I had somehow managed to move closer to each other. "Why do I care?" I repeat incredulously. "Maybe because you're my wife? Last time I checked, when you kiss someone that isn't your husband, that's cheating!"
Kelsey's eyes shut tightly for a few seconds before she reopened them and stared at me. "Stop saying that," she says in a dangerously low voice. "Stop calling me your wife. You and I both know it's a title with no meaning. You were just thrown into what my mother wanted for me before she died. Don't pretend that you actually care about me or anything that goes on between us."
My hands clench into fists by my sides as I try to control my ragged breathing. Kelsey looks at me in pure anger, no other emotion behind her crystal blue eyes. My jaw clenches and unclenches repeatedly as my eyes burn into Kelsey's. "Where did you get the thought of me pretending to care about you?" I ask, taking a step closer to her. I expect her take ask away, but she remains just where she is now. "I actually do care about you, Kelsey. You're my responsibility, and not in the burden type of way. I care about you, and I guess I'm just going to have to show you how much I really do."
She simply stares up at me, not saying anything. Lifting my hands up, I cup her jaw before pulling her in and capturing her lips in a kiss. To my delight, Kelsey kisses back as I feel her lips start to move with mine. Her hands bury themselves in my hair as her elbows rest on my shoulders, pulling me even more closer. The kiss was as good as the first one we shared, possibly even better.
Kelsey and I jump apart as we turn to see Zayn and Louis staring at us with wide eyes. I scratch the back of my neck as I glance at Kelsey, who's pressing her lips together as a pink color spreads across her naturally pale cheeks. Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have given the lads keys to my flat.
"Erm, hey, guys," I mutter as I look at them.
Zayn's brown eyes are darting back and forth from Kelsey and I, meanwhile Louis is just grinning widely as if he just won the freaking lottery. It was awkwardly silent for a few minutes, until of course, Louis broke it. "What did we just see?"
Kelsey looks at me and then back at the two boys. "I'm gonna, uh, get something to eat," she murmurs, before practically running out of the living room. I don't blame her, honestly.
When she was gone, Zayn and Louis approached me and Zayn asked, "What the hell was that, mate? You and Kelsey?"
I roll my eyes. "Well, we are married."
"Yeah, but." Louis looked dumbfounded, looking in the direction of the kitchen and then back at me. "I didn't think you and her would actually, you know, uh..."
"Kiss?" I supply with a raise of my eyebrow and he nods, Zayn joining in. "Well, it's not like that was the first time we kissed," I trailed off.
If it was possible, both of their eyes widened even more. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Zayn asks, excitement lighting up his brown eyes.
I chuckle nervously. "Uh, we may have kissed before?"
Louis's eyebrows shot up at the news. "And you were going to tell us this when?"
I press my lips together and shrug, rubbing my right forearm. "I dunno," I mumbled. "I didn't think it was much of a big deal, to be honest."
"It actually is big news," Louis grins, confusing me. "I mean, we never thought that you and Kelsey would actually be together, together."
I roll my eyes at that. "Gee, thanks," I say, sarcasm dripping from my voice.
"I think what Lou means is," Zayn speaks up, "that we didn't think Kelsey would actually, like, go for you." I stare at him and he shakes his head. "Wait, that came out wrong."
"You think?" I raise my eyebrows, but then shrug. "She's a really nice girls, you guys know that. And I mean, we're not together like that. I don't know what's going to happen now, but we'll just have to wait and see."
It's quiet for a while until Louis breaks it. "That's weird," he says, "you know, dating your wife and all. It's strange."
I chuckle. "Tell me about it."
My head was spinning as I gripped my phone in my hand, biting my bottom lip as I pace around the bedroom. Harry was still talking to Louis and Zayn down stairs, after they walked in on Harry and I kissing - which was extremely embarrassing, may I add. From the kitchen, I had ran up the stairs and into the bedroom, avoiding having to face the three boys in the living room.
I was having a debate war with myself on whether I should call Logan or not. I know I need to talk to him sooner or later, but I don't know what I should exactly say. Sighing, I dial his number reluctantly and put the phone to my ear, waiting for him to pick up. As each beep sounded out, my heart started beating louder until Logan finally picked up.
"Kelsey, thank God." He sounded relieved and I just sighed. "I'm so sorry for want I did."
"Why'd you do it, Logan?" I ask with a sigh, running a hand through my semi-wet hair.
"Because I like you, Kelsey." He didn't even hesitant in answer, causing my mouth to go dry as I looked at the blank wall in front of me. "I have for so long and I just... Had to do it."
"No," I shake my head, "you didn't have to do anything. You wanted to kiss me and you did. And you can't do that when you know I'm with Harry."
"But what you two have isn't even real!" Logan practically screams, causing me to cringe away from the phone. "It's nonexistent, Kelsey! You're married because your mother made you. You two don't even -"
"We've kissed, Logan," I suddenly interrupt him, biting down on my bottom lip.
Logan was silent for a few seconds, causing my heart to beat rapidly. Then he suddenly spoke up. "What?"
He sounded a bit... Broken, and it made me feel a bit guilty. But I couldn't keep it from him, not after what he did. "We've kissed," I repeat. "Three times."
"Why?" Was all he said.
"Because I may actually like him?" I finally admit. "He's nice and funny and sweet, Logan. He isn't an asshole like you think he is."
"I can't believe this," Logan mumbles. "I honestly thought you were better than that."
I frown, anger sparking up inside of me. "Better than that?" I repeat. "Sorry if the guy that I like isn't you, Logan. Sorry I don't feel for you what you feel for me. Sorry if I actually like my own fucking husband!"
"Just stop, Logan," I snap, before pulling my phone away and ending the call.
Why did he have to do all this right before my feelings for Harry were coming up in the clear?