Chapter 34 - Anger, Care, & Possibly Love
“I honestly didn’t think you’d come.”
I looked up at Logan, who sat on the hospital bed. He had a white cloth wrapped around his head, making it seem like he only had a head injury. Though all of his injuries were internal, Logan had some trouble sitting up by himself, and he needed to be propped up against pillows. He had to stay at the hospital for a couple of days until his results came in and he was properly healed.
When I first saw him, I visibly flinched. No one wants to see their best friend laying in a hospital bed all wrapped up and having IV needles stuck in them. I had gotten in early this morning, and I was yet to fall asleep. I had taken a nap on the plane, which only lasted for about half an hour. I was too worried about Logan’s health, so I couldn’t keep my eyes shut for more than thirty minutes.
“Of course I’d come,” I reply, sitting up in the uncomfortable plastic chair. “You’re in the hospital, Logan. It was a no-brainer.”
Logan gave a single nod. “Look, Kelsey, I’m really so-”
“Don’t, Logan,” I cut him off with a small smile. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll talk about it all later.”
He nodded as he bit his bottom lip, I and stood up. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” I say as I head out the room door.
As I walk down the white hallway towards the bathroom, my phone started buzzing, and I took it out to see that Harry was calling me. Shit, I mentally cursed. I didn’t even tell him about my spontaneous move on flying down to Miami, so I could only hope that he wouldn’t be angry with me.
Approaching the bathroom, I opened the ladies’ room door and stepped inside, locking it behind me. “Hey, Harry,” I say as the door clicks.
“You know what I hate?” Harry asks as soon as I was finished greeting him.
I stopped in the middle of the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror as I stood there, holding the phone by my ear in both confusion and nervousness. “Uh, what?” I ask, trying to sound a little bit confused.
“How I have to find out online that my own wife is in Miami, when she herself didn’t even tell me.” He sounded angry, I could tell you that much. Knowing Harry, he was trying to control himself before blowing up. He had a very short temper, so I always had to be careful about not tipping him a bit too over the edge.
“I was going to tell you,” I begin weakly, but get cut off.
“Oh, yeah? When? When you were back in London?” His voice was a tad bit venomous, which scared me.
I run a hand through my hair as my grip on my phone tightens. “Harry, Logan’s in the hospital, okay? He got a really bad football injury and I had to visit him. He’s my best friend, after all,” I try to reason with him.
“I know he is, Kelsey,” Harry releases a small sigh. “I just wish you’d stop hiding these things from me. You don’t realize how I feel when I have to find out that you’ve been mobbed by paparazzi or fans or that you’re in Miami when the last time I spoke to you, you were in London online,” he explains to me. “You’re hiding important details from me, and I just wish you’d stop. I thought that by now you’d be able to trust me enough to let me know what you’re doing and what happens to you. But I guess not.”
As he spoke each word, it felt like a punch to the gut. Harry’s own voice sounded a bit weak and defeated, and it made me feel extremely guilty. Having Harry be upset with you is like kicking a puppy; they’re always so nice to you and are loving, but then you suddenly kick them and they’ll be confused to as why you did that, when all they’ve been doing is trying their best to keep you happy. Harry was the sweetest guy I have ever met in my life, and I hated that I had hurt him.
He was right. Harry was absolutely right. I should have told him all the times the paparazzi had bombarded me or fans had mobbed me. And I should have especially told him about my visit down here. I realize that it’s hard for him to be all the way across the world when I’m sitting in London, where he doesn’t know what’s happening to me unless he goes online. I don’t tell him anything that happens to me, and the only way he finds out is when he logs on to Twitter.
I’m such a shitty person.
“Harry, I’m sorry.” Was all that came out of my mouth. “I know I should’ve told you, but I didn’t want you worrying about me -”
“And not telling me anything was the answer?” Harry retorts, a slight scoff emitting from him. “Kelsey, I don’t want you hiding things from me. Don’t you trust me?”
I shut my eyes tightly at that, my lips rolling into my mouth. “Of course I trust you, Harry.”
“Then why does it feel like you don’t?” he sighs.
Before I could reply to him, I heard a beep on my phone and I pulled it away from my ear. My heart sank when I saw the words ‘Call Ended’ blinked on the screen. With a groan, I stuffed my phone in the pocket of my pants before both of my hands ran through my hair in frustration. I didn’t like Harry being mad at me; I couldn’t stand it. It sent a weird feeling to stir up in the pit of my stomach at the thought of Harry being upset with me.
A couple of minutes later, I walked out of the bathroom, forcing a smile at a nurse who walked by. As I walked back to Logan’s room, I ran into Julia who held two Styrofoam cups filled with coffee. “Hi, sweetheart,” she smiles as she offers me a cup. “It’s not Starbucks, but it’ll do.”
I chuckle as I took it from her. “It doesn’t matter,” I shrug. “How’s he doing?”
“He’s good,” Julia says with a release of a breath. “The doctor said his results should be in by the end of the day. But by the looks of it, Logan’s healing pretty fast.”
I nod. “That’s good news,” I smile. “I’m sure he’ll be up pretty soon.”
Julia smiles and nods, and then looks at me carefully. “So, Kelsey, are you alright?” she asks as she looks at me. “You seem a bit down.”
I force another smile. “I’m perfectly fine,” I assure her. “Just fine.”
I’ve been in Miami for a couple of days, and I haven’t talked to Harry ever since our conversation back at the hospital. I haven’t been on Twitter, either, not wanting to see the things people were saying.
By now, I was sure that everyone knew I was in Miami. And I’m pretty sure they would have guessed why I was here, so I didn’t want to see the lies people tend to come up with. I know the reason why I’m here, and that’s all that matters. I don’t owe an explanation to everyone in the world.
Speaking of which, Logan was out of the hospital. He had gotten out a day after I had come, but his leg was still a bit hurt. He needed crutches, but otherwise he was perfectly fine. And since I knew Logan was okay, I figured that it’s time for me to return back to London.
So as I sat on the bed in the guest room at Logan’s house, the laptop in front of me as I went on Travelocity, the door opened and in came Logan with the assistance of his crutches. I looked up from the laptop screen as he came inside.
“I think it’s about time we talk,” Logan says as he plops down on the bed, leaning the crutches against it.
“I guess so,” I mumble, licking my lips.
Logan sighs, looking around the room before looking at me. “I was a douche,” he begins. “I shouldn’t have said those things about Harry to you. It was uncalled for and I’m so sorry about that. He’s your husband and I had no right to say that.”
“No, you didn’t,” I agree without hesitation, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed so I was sitting next to him. “It got Harry really angry, as well as myself. You really hurt my feelings, Logan.”
Logan sighed, bowing his head. “I know,” he admits shamefully. “Believe me, hurting you was the last thing I wanted. I know how much you like Harry, and no matter how much I wished you liked me instead of him, I can’t change that.”
I give him a small smile. “You can’t,” I say. “And I’m sorry, Logan. I really do like Harry, a lot more than I thought I did before. Someday you’ll find someone who really likes you.”
Logan smiles, nodding slightly. “Yeah, someday,” he murmurs, before he looks at me. “So what’s really going on with you and Harry?”
I couldn’t help but smile. “It’s weird; we’re together, but not just married, you know? We actually do like each other, I mean. He’s so sweet and nice and funny, and I just... Really like him.”
Logan stares at me, raising an eyebrow. “Why do I feel like you like him a lot more than you’re saying?” he asks.
I furrow my eyebrows as I turn to look at him. “What do you mean?” I ask, slightly confused.
Logan scoffs, smiling. “You obviously feel for him a lot more than you’re leading on, Kelsey,” he says to me. “You’re just not admitting it.”
My mouth turns dry. “I already did, Logan,” I say. “I, uh, really like him. That’s it.”
Logan rolls his brown eyes. “Sure,” he says sarcastically.
I narrow my eyes at him. “What are you trying to say, Logan?”
“What I’m saying, is,” Logan grins, “if you actually, maybe, kind of, sort of even love Harry, I think you should tell him.”
I nearly choked on my own spit at Logan’s words, staring at him with wide eyes. He couldn’t be right, right? I couldn’t possibly actually love Harry, could I? Love is too strong of an emotion, and I couldn’t feel it for Harry. I internally groaned; I don’t even know my own feelings. And hearing all of this from someone else, much less Logan, who absolutely hated the thought of Harry and I together, was completely absurd.
I have only ever loved two people in my life, which were my parents. I never felt that way for any of my past boyfriends, only to the point where I really liked them. Loving someone was totally different, especially if they weren’t a family member.
But what Logan said stuck in my brain, thoughts running over it repeatedly. Did I actually love Harry, without realizing it? Was I slowly falling in love with the guy that my mother had set me up with?
“It’s okay if you do love him, Kelsey,” Logan’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts. “And it’s totally normal. It was only a matter of time that you did.”
My upper set of teeth sank into my lower lip, still not sure of my own feelings. I was confused as hell. Believe it or not, admitting to someone you love them is a big thing, much less admitting it to yourself. So I was hesitant and confused. “I’m just confused,” I say.
“Well, figure out your feelings on the plane, because you’re not going back to London.” I look at him in utter confusion. “Find out where that boyfriend of yours is, and then fly over to surprise him or something. Seeing as you haven’t been talking about him, nor have I seen you talk to him, I’m guessing he’s a bit pissed.”
I gulp. “Just a tiny bit,” I mumble.
Logan raises an eyebrow. “So what are you waiting for? Get your ticket.”
With the help of Louis and Zayn, I had learned that the boys were in Pittsburg. So once I had booked a ticket over there, I flew out after saying goodbye to Logan and his parents. According to Zayn and Louis, it was a great idea for me to come out, especially since Harry’s been in bit of a mood.
I do feel guilty about that, and I only hoped that me visiting him made him feel at least a little bit better. And I also hoped this helped me figure out my feelings - which were currently all over the place.
Once I had landed in Pittsburg, Paul had sent me a car that would bring me to the boys’ hotel. As I sat in the back of the car, I subconsciously chewed on my nails nervously as I stared out the window of the car. What if Harry was still upset with me? What if me coming up here was a mistake? What if I was just embarrassing myself?
Soon enough, the car pulled up in front of the hotel. Surprisingly, there weren’t any fans out front, and then I remembered Zayn telling me that the police had told them to drop by after five o’ clock, because in the morning is when many guests tend to come by.
So grabbing my bag, I thanked the driver and walked into the lobby of the grand hotel. Louis had told me what floor they were staying on and Harry’s room number, so I went right towards the elevator and went up.
When the elevator doors slid open, I swallowed the lump in my throat and walked down the hall. When I reached the room that was assigned to Harry, I bit my bottom lip and reached you knocking on it. I stood for a minute or so, before the door swung open and there stood Harry.
He was dressed in a dark grey shirt and jeans, looking simple but extremely handsome. I found my stomach flipping at the sight of him, and I rolled my lips in my mouth, the corners of my lips going up a bit in a smile.
“Kelsey?” Harry asks, his green eyes widening as he sees me.
I offer a nervous smile. “Uh, hey,” I say quietly.
Harry let out a disbelieving chuckle. “What are you doing here?”
I shrug. “Thought I’d drop by and visit.”
He then opens the door wider and steps aside. “Come in.” I walk into his hotel room as he closes the door behind him. “So, uh, how’s Logan?”
“He’s good,” I answer carefully. “He’s on crutches, but otherwise he’s alright.”
“That’s, uh, good,” Harry replies awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.
I sighed as I looked at him, frowning slightly. “Are you still angry with me?” I ask. “Because I’m really sorry, Harry. I really am.”
This time Harry sighed, a hand running through his hair. “I know you’re angry, and I’m sorry as well. I overreacted.”
“No, you didn’t,” I shook my head as I took a step towards him. “I should’ve told you what’s been going on, and I should have told you that I was going down to Miami before I did. It wasn’t fair that you had to find out stuff on the internet, instead of hearing it from me.”
Harry licks his lips, looking around the room before looking back at me. “I didn’t like hearing what was happening with you on the internet instead of hearing it from you, yes. And I do wish that you were the one to tell me. But going to Miami, I overreacted on that. Logan’s your best friend, and I’m no one to stop you from visiting him - especially if he’s in the hospital.”
I offer him a small smile. “Look, we’re both at fault here,” I tell him as I step forward, closing the distance between us. “I promise that I’ll let you know if something with the paparazzi ever happens to me again.”
Harry returns the smile, showing off a dimple. “And I promise I’m not going to freak out over little things.”
“Well, it’s not that little,” I say. “It’s actually really sweet,” I add with a grin, my arms snaking around his neck.
Harry shrugs nonchalantly, his own arms loosely sliding around my waist as he tugs me closer. “I’m a sweet guy,” he says, his lips curling up into a smirk.
I raise my eyebrows, giving him a look. “Very modest, too,” I add sarcastically, causing a rich laugh to emit from Harry’s lips. Damn, butterflies.
Harry smiles, revealing his perfect white teeth before leaning his forehead against mine. “I really didn’t mean to get angry with you, Kelsey,” he murmurs. “I just… Don’t want anything happening to you. I’m sorry if it came out the wrong way.”
“It’s fine, Harry,” I assured him, my hands on the back of his head as I played with the ends of his hair. “I mean, the worse you could do is not care at all. It’s nice to know that you do.”
He looked at me, his green eyes meeting my blue ones. Harry stayed quiet for a moment as he simply stood there, staring at me. In a sudden action, his lips met mine in a soft, slow kiss. But it was brief, before he pulled away all too soon.
With a small smile and a brush of lips to lips, Harry whispered, “I’ll always care about you. Don’t ever think so otherwise.”